Again, I have to say, that if it were me, I would kick her butt out and make sure that the kids stay with you. Authors and therapists who take this puritanical-moralistic, often religiously based, position, generally view the betrayed partner as an innocent victim and put almost exclusive emphasis on the spiritual, emotional and relational rehabilitation of the betrayer. Dissatisfied spouses who experience their partners as emotionally or sexually withholding or view their partners as easily sexualizing others or as moody are especially vulnerable to affairs. that they have endured because of red hot passion, He or she may fear that they will be punished forever for the betrayal while they grieve for the lost dreams associated with the affair. The therapist should help couples to develop strategies to reduce suspicion and increase trust. This approach looks at issues of sexual addiction, early history of abuse, personality disorders and exposure to parent’s infidelity. I also reread ur last posts and what I really wanted to say is that it doesn’t really sound like u have forgiven ur spouse . Women are more willing to risk divorce, as they are increasingly more capable of taking care of themselves and their children economically, physically and emotionally. My Best to you! Monogamy in the animal kingdom is so rare that those romantic Hallmark cards with pictures of swans or other types of lovebirds should more accurately feature the flatworm. I am lost . But I am still so so so hart inside! for the sake of your spouse and children. Dunn, R. L., & Schwebel, A. I. I am so conflicted about the best course of action. Trust rebuilt, albeit much slower than either my wife or I would have liked. When: Thursday June 25th, 2pm PDT/5pm EDT It started as a mild flirtation and is developing into real feelings. This can be a conscious or unconscious act intended to ensure that a backup relationship is in place before leaving the original marriage. Bad Marriage Affairs: If u respond to this post I will be great full. Homer’s Iliad describes the affair of Helen of Troy, and the list goes on – works, such as Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, Flaubert’s Madam Bovary, Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover, Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, Henry James’ The Golden Bowl are prime examples. This free webinar is designed to support families navigate children's emotional reactions as they return to school, either in person or online. There are no financial constraints and my kids are adults. There is no better teacher than knowledge and experience when trying to recover from infidelity.